Joshua Caldwell
Disclaimer:
This post is not about:
I'm speaking directly to the phenomenon that occurs between a child and their birther.
The connection that exists when one being births another. For a long while, that child cannot distinguish between itself and its birther.
They are one in the same.
Upon the birth of our child in 2019; we would have the silver lining of COVID allowing us to spend the first 24 months of their lives with them all day. Not many people in the United States can say they get that much time with their newborn, even with Maternity Leave (Six weeks is not enough time to nurture that relationship)
When they were able to distinguish people and objects, I was the first stranger they met.
"Hello Little One, I'm Joshua, Your Daddy"
Needing to return to work; Jessica left after two years, leaving them in the hands of that former stranger.
A hard decision on the surface, exacerbated by the atypical gender roles we assumed in co-parenting and within patriarchal capitalism.
"Where's Mama?!"
"Daddy's no fun, wheres Mama?"
"Me like Mama better!"
It never occurred to me I wouldn't be the fun parent. A fact my partner has also confessed.
'Fathers' normally have the latitude to do that as the other picks up the slack they give.
When PK started asking for Mama constantly, it messed with my head.
I did everything they did, and even considered myself more patient; but...
I am the first stranger they met.